Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I am closing out an email box of a position I am I go over old emails... I have come across several random ones that have me giggling out loud. Again....

Dear co-workers.

You know have new pirate names.

Tal is :Jelly Bones Gus
Nimrod is: Pirate Bart the Rum-Swiller
Ido is: Pirate Ted the Malformed
Daniela is: Pirate Lea the Periwinkle
Hadass is: Pirate Elanor the Infected

At least mine is sweet though...thanks Ginrod!

Brain f**t

Don't really like what I wrote- I'll edit it I guess. I am pretty busy today- I was up all night- working and Oliver drove me out of my mind whining and crying all night- Oh, Oliver is one of my foster dogs-I have 2 right now. Oliver - was a dog I found in Park Hayarkon...he was filthy, skinny and whining. I took him home, bathed him and fed him..then he slept for about 2 days straight...poor dog...ecch don't feel like writing more now-as I said I'm busy- finishing a boring and mundane freelance project that pays well for Israeli's more on Oliver and his whining he meantime- a gorgeous picture of Ruby-my pup and Rosie- my other foster Pup...and of course one of Oliver- the big beige dog....

Stupidity for the sake of annoyance.

I am the internal Vaad Bayit in my apartment building. Vaad Bayit is someone who is sort of like a super for the building... you pay the cleaner and the gardener and take care of miscellaneous building issues...Anyway- As a renter- I always make sure that the owners are never permitted to complain- I figure- if they cannot be bothered to keep their own building in good shape- they may not complain about anything-

Anyway- the building is an old school, Israeli style building. Square, on stilts and the "lobby" is made of round hollowed out stones that look like cells or a q-burt board game...4 floors...high and 16 apartments. Most of the renters are young couples and a couple of young singles.The rest are very old owners who have been living in there apartment for the last 30-40 years. Normally- the little old ladies are adorable and sweet and the one old man- even in his mid 80's is a pervert-seriously- he freaks me out. There is that one older or young old lady- in her late 60's with the awful dyed red hair who always complains...she is nice but super annoying...

This morning- As I leave my apartment- I see random paper towels all over the floor. From upstairs all the way down to the lobby. Ok- I thought- the cleaner comes tomorrow and I guess someone dropped something on the way downstairs...who knows...but this old eggplant haired neighbor looks up at me from a staircase down below and says in Hebrew- 'What are these?'. So I said- since they were obviously paper towels, "I don't know". So she said 'you weren't there?'. I replied 'no, I dont live in the staircase'.

The conversation continued on- just like that until I got to the door and made my escape. Why do people have to foolish for the sake of being annoying?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

como agua para chocolate

Red is getting married Thursday. She isn't converting to judaism so the wedding ceremony will be a mix of the standard jewish ceremony under the chuppah-taking place in Jaffe- with some variations. Instead of the traditional 7 blessings of marriage- she and B will use the first and last blessing. The 5 in between will be replaced by 5 people each bestowing a personal blessing to the bride and groom. I was asked to be one of those people. I feel honored but so very sad. My own engagement broke off months ago and my heart hasn't really healed. This is the first real party I am going to since my heart shattered into a million shards of sadness. And it's a wedding. And I need to speak. I have spent hours looking over love quotes, love songs and anything the web had to offer on love. I come up with nothing. And I cannot even have a glass of champagne before to calm my nerves because I am a cheap date.

Ad-my British pal- suggested I speak from the heart. Too many cracks. I'd be too afraid my sadness, my own longing for Y would seep into my words and fill the guests will my longing and cause others to be sad-and ruin the wedding- a la Tita's tears in "Like Water for Chocolate". I nixed his idea in the bud.

But- 2 days before the wedding and I have nothing on paper- except for pieces of sad songs and excerpts of poetry that I wish for Y to hear to induce the desire to breathe his songs into my ears again.

Monday, July 27, 2009


I am an all around, hard core animal lover. Every boyfriend I have ever had has either made fun of or been exasperated by my need to say hi to any animal I encounter on the street (except rats). I used to volunteer and socialize stray animals to help them reacclimate to people in order to get them adopted faster. After than, I became a foster home for puppies and small dogs (small because I don't have much upper body strength).

My 15th foster dog became Ruby. My little gem of a puppy. She is a mix of a Belgian Wolf and a Border Collie and she looks sleek, like a fox. She is a rich, deep black with a strip of pure white fur going down her front. Sometimes it looks like she drank milk and it dribbled down her chin.

She is naughty and sweet and loving and incredibly smart. She loves to play fetch and adores it even more if I am chasing after her. And she can run like the wind. Really. She is very lean and muscular like a swimmer, she looks smooth and effortless and elegant when she runs. I love watching her. And she smiles the entire time.

Her ears are enormous, not Dumbo enormous mind you, but certainly-like large, black, triangular satellites that are absolutely the best way for me to read her mood and thought process;

-"The flirt"- She has the ears all the way back and down when she is being submissive to other dogs or when she isn't sure a person will pet her but she really wants them to.

-"I was ignoring you but you now have my full attention" -She has her ears perk all the way up- for key words like 'out' and 'cookie'.

-"The Butch" -A special head tilt for when I say her boyfriends name 'Butch'. She perks up and starts looking around for him.

Recently- 'Red' was away for several weeks- she is Butch's mom. Butch is a big beautiful, very expressive, very demanding large white boxer. And yes, my little Ruby's man. She likes big dogs. And Ruby hasn't seen him in a long time. Last night, she jumped on me for cuddle time and I whispered to her- "where is Butch?" and I clearly saw her look at me with a side glance full of annoyance as if I was keeping her apart from him on purpose Romeo and Juliet style. She actually gave me a dirty look!